The Ma'am Gap
This week I did an informal poll and here are the official results: women don’t like to be called Ma’am
There may be some who don’t mind it, but for the majority – regardless of age – Ma’am just doesn’t do it for us. If we are young women, it makes us wonder how old the person addressing us thinks we are. Maybe I should get a higher SPF? If we are in the middle, it makes us feel old, and if we are old, it just reminds us. If 40 is the new 30, and 30 is the new 20, Ma’am is the eternal 90, which of course is the new 70.
There exists a gap in the vernacular of polite society between girlhood and death – the Valley of Ma’am. I admit it’s exhausting but this bizarre ageism manages to wrap its ideology around even my most confident girlfriends.
So what do we want to be called? What could replace the cringe inducing Ma’am? Here’s a brief recap of several recent discussions that caused belly laughs, snorting and tears:
Miss? Pretty ridiculous and possibly mocking if you’re over 25.
Lady? Visions of movie cab drivers yelling, “Hey, lady!”
Babe? We all laughed at this one but imagine the checkout guy saying “Line 5 is open, babe.” Now imagine that the checkout guy is NOT hot.
Madam(e)? This could be a contender because, although it’s the word Ma’am is derived from, it could refer to a woman who runs a brothel so adds a bit of sleazy intrigue. PLUS, many psychics use it, as in 'The World Famous' Madame (fill in the blank).
The list went on a bit but in the end we came to the conclusion that there is no other universal word to address an unknown woman. Dammit but also Yay!
Yay because the next time someone Ma’ams you, remember there really isn’t a better word. Yet.
Ideas?